JAAAAYBOT!

It was really hard to see my cousin today in the hospital. It didn’t really hit me until I actually saw her there in the bed. I knew she was in the hospital, but didn’t think it was as serious as to the extent. No matter how much I resented her for what happened in the past, she is still my family, and I love her. I really do not have time to hold grudges anymore, because it really hit me when it’s your own family.

Memories of growing up with her kept flashing back in my head, and it made me so emotional. I did a pretty good job of keeping my tears at bay, but it was just too sad to see her in there. I can only hope for the best for her. I hope she makes a speedy recovery, and is able to get back to normal.

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I went out with Andy and a few of his friends today. It was nice to catch up with him and meet his friends. I had a great time. Not to mention BJ’s was amazing. I should’ve gotten a pizookie,… I’m shooting myself in the foot right now for not getting one. I did have Juice It Up though, and it kind of dissapointed me! Hopefully my white gummy from Jamba Juice wont let me down.

I cant wait for Tuesday to come. April, which seems to be one of the two friends out here, is taking me out on a day of hiking and the beach, and I can’t wait for that. I’m a little dissapointed in some of the other people out here. Oh well, apparently a lot can change in a year.

Flight / Day 1.

I was so nervous before boarding the flight. I thank Adam for being so helpful when walking me through the airport station. I would’ve been lost if he hadn’t been there to help me, thank God for good midwest friends. It’s unfortunate his other job called him in so he wasn’t able to ride with me like orignally planned. Boarding the flight was a little nerve racking to be honest. The last time I ever flew was almost over a decade ago, back when I was young, and didn’t think the worse of things.

The actual flight wasn’t so bad. A few bumps here and there, but nothing to extreme or didn’t expect. We stopped in Denver for 45 minutes or so, enough to have a cigarette in the smokers lounge. The final flight to Ontario boarded early, and the flight itself was almost two hours. I was so happy when we started to land.

I immediately thought to myself, “I should’ve never left.” It was such a good feeling to be home. Clear skies, beautiful city lights, and my favorite,….. Mountains. Nothing truly compares to California. It really is the most beautiful state. I’m just so glad to be home.

I waited for my family to arrive. I had originally spoken to my mother and she said it was only going to be her and my father picking me up, which was a relief. I was waiting outside, and I see a blonde in the car, and every smiling. It was nerve racking becuase I didn’t expect my aunt, brother and his new girlfriend to be there. It was a little ackward at first, but it was nice. I am so glad to see everyone. It seems like my parents like my brothers new girlfriend, and that is great. Anyone is better than Cori. She introduced herself shortly after we got home, she seems like a nice girl.

My mom transformed my room into a hotel “guest” room. It was kind of cute. Theirs old baby pictures of me, and she set up her own TV in my room to watch when my dad is “watching his own show” downstairs. Which I think is a bunch of BS because she always would be in control of the TV. I think she misses me, ha ha.

I ended up going out with a bunch of friends last night. It was really nice, but I just wish it were a little longer. It was a good night overall. I definitely do not miss California drink prices. 10 bucks for 2 vodka seltzers. No thank you! We ended up at Del Taco to finish the night. LOVED it, like usual. I ended up passing out shortly after.

My first official day was pretty lame. I went on a walk, and came home. I was a little bummed none of my friends invited me out to the beach with them. It would’ve been nice to see the ocean since I haven’t in a year. I’m not going to lie, I was a little depressed after that. I spent the whole day by myself in bed watching TV. I hate when I’m by myself. I start to overthink everything, and I get so stressed out. I was stressing myself out for almost 3 hours. I had to let go, calm down, and enjoy my vacation. In the end, my family has been here for me 100%. Even if I don’t get to do the things that I originally wanted to do, I will be fine spending it with my family. I have five days to cherish, and I don’t mind spending it with them at all anymore. I need to stop being so emotional lately.

I’m going to Skype with Rebecca now. I need some kind of human interaction today.
Goodnight-

7 days.

In seven days I’ll be standing in front of a judge while I am judged by my peers and convicted for my offense.

Am I nervous? Yeah, you can say that. I’ve spent the last couple of hours just reading up on stuff that has been beneficial for me, but also introduced more stress that isn’t needed. I’m trying my best to keep a positive outlook, its really hard, but so far I’ve been doing well.

Wish me luck, and send your positive vibes my way this week, I’ll need all that I can take.

40 Tips For a Better Life In 2012

I really enjoyed what Kevin had to say in this post about a better life in 2012, check it out, and check out his blog http://kevinism.com

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. I like to take this 10 minutes (sadly sometimes just 5 minutes if pressed for time) to think of everything that is going RIGHT and not wrong and to give thanks for what I do have…so many people have it worse.

3. Buy a DVR and record your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, “My purpose is to _______ today.”

5. Live with the 3 E’s – Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2011.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six. There is so much wisdom to learn from people in their 60′s, 70′s, 80′s –take some time to take it all in. As far as kids go…try to remember what it was like to find everything so exciting and so new. We can learn a lot from kids!

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that is manufactured in plants!

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.

13. Clean clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out credit card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Ask, Believe, Receive. (And it WILL happen!)

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often.. (Or email them to death!)

37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: “I am thankful for _________________. Today I accomplished _______________.

38. Remember you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door! It just doesn’t happen though on it’s own YOU NEED to stop thinking negative thoughts and focus on wishing good things in your lives and everyone around you!